What is The Most Difficult Thing in Life?

I asked a few of my friends this question: “What is the most difficult thing in your life?”  One replied, “I am not able to say no when I want to say no” Another friend replied that he could not make up his mind on what he wanted to become in life. One’s reply was: “I am not able to resist temptations on things that I decided to say no.” There is a common thread running through all these answers.

 The most difficult thing in our life is not anything that we consider as the most difficult thing but the decision to do that deemed-difficult thing, then, follow through that decision to get it done. So my answer to this question is “making judgment.”  Yes, making judgment is the most difficult thing in life because our life is a bundle of decisions, and each decision is supposed to be an outcome of judgment. I had come across many people saying that we should not judge others and that making judgment is a negative process. I, however, contend, that it is not possible to live meaningfully without making judgments because a life where decisions are taken without judgments is like a boat sailing without rudder – we will keep drifting directionless and under the influence and control of external factors. Psychologists call this as a life with “external locus of control.”  But a life based on decisions that have underlying judgments will be merit-based and within the amendable control of the person — “internal locus of control,” is the term psychologists coined for this. I definitely recommend a life with internal focus of control  because the person himself/herself will be the captain of his/her soul, hence, pilot the life based on own judgments.

 In a day, we make many decisions, so do many judgments. Some decisions have insignificant impact on the way our life progresses while some others have  long-term, direction-changing impact. As long as our judgments are correct, we take right decisions. But if our judgments go wrong, we will end up in making wrong decisions. How do we ensure that we make correct judgments?

Judgmental error or correctness is a measure of wisdom. And wisdom is an indication of intelligence. Why did King Solomon ask for wisdom, instead of intelligence, as the boon from God as mentioned in the Holy Bible? Because Solomon knew this fundamental fact: Intelligence is a prerequisite to wisdom and that once you have wisdom, you are already intelligent. All intelligent people are not wise, but all wise are intelligent. Intelligent shows the ways, and wisdom chooses the best one. This choosing is where the process of judgment happens. In other words, judgment is the bridge from intelligence to wisdom or blunder. If you take the right bridge – correct judgement – you will travel from intelligence to wisdom, and a wrong judgment of bridge lands you in blunder or foolishness. Everyone is bestowed with immense treasures of intelligence and wisdom! And the difference is only in their usage levels. Higher the intelligent a person is more the chances for him to be wiser because more intelligence shows more ways and means to a person to build the bridge of judgement to arrive at the destination of correct decision called wisdom.

We all know that it is not easy or possible to fool an intelligent person. Why? Intelligence is the power of the sum total of abilities, capabilities, skills, knowledge and experience. And this power enables a person to ask questions about and seek answers on topics on which he/she has to take a decision. In this process, individuals who bring forth these topics do not matter but the topics. Such an approach will open up a screen of relevant issues surrounding the topic visible to the person who has to take the decision. Bigger this power more will be the questions and answers, hence, clearer will be the pictures on the screen to make a judgement, preceding the decision. Sometimes, this screen tapers off, meaning the issues based on which we have to take a decision on a topic have external linkages. So, how do we factor in such external linkages in judgment-making? Have you heard about  the term: Beyond-Visual-Range, or B.V.R., which refers to the potency and power of missiles to engage and effectively destroy enemy weapons in the distant far-off that is beyond the vicinity range of the firing site? We need to have an inbuilt-B.V.R. technology to ensure correctness of our judgement about a topic that has external links beyond our judgmental-vicinity. In fact, all of us have such a B.V.R. technology called intuition – the mental faculty to knowledgeably-guesstimate the unknown.

Coming back to my friends, the common thread that runs through their problems is that they are not able to make decisions to solve their own  problems. This inability to take decisions is a manifestation of their inability to make judgments on various alternatives to choose the best course of action that can solve their problems.The friend  who is not able to choose his career option fails to make judgments on the various available career alternatives and choose the best one; the friend who can not resist temptations is not able to decide — failing to make judgments on the pros and cons of succumbing to or not succumbing to the temptations that he decided to not have in his life.

Do not shy away from making judgments and choose the best one — making decision. Make judgments in order to decide the direction and substance of your life.